Arms of Mary
by SarahAH30
Summary: My contribution to the FFSAA compilation. AU set after the battle in Breaking Dawn. Jasper reminisces about how he came to be the vampire he is and all he lost in the battle.


A/N: This was my contribution to the FFSAA compilation. Something new for me, Jasper/Alice pairing and NO smut what so ever.

Special thanks to Jasperluver48 and OCDJen for pre reading and dtav for being my beta on special thanks to Robrator for making the banner. Obviously I don't own anything, neither the characters nor the song.

He song can be found here: www dot youtube dot com/watch?v=yXyOLIhTrFo

The banner for this fic is here http : /yfrog dot com/h24r5cmj

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><p><em>The lights shine down the valley<em>

_The wind blows up the alley_

_Oh how I wish I were lying in the_

_Arms of Mary_

Standing in the alley, I watch as the sun sets over the building across from me. I pull my jacket tighter around myself to shield myself from the cool breeze. Which is stupid really, considering my already naturally cold body temperature, but it's a comfort thing.

The place doesn't seem to have changed at all over the years; it is like time has stood still around that one building. It's kinda perfect, actually, considering I haven't aged a day since I was last here.

That day, over sixty years ago, is where everything changed for me. I was a shell of the man I had once been and would have never dreamed I would be the man I am now. That was until the day I met her, though, and she changed everything.

My time with Maria in the Southern Wars was both a blessing and a curse. I am a vampire; we are born to kill and destroy, or so I thought. Fighting alongside and against my own kind for territory is what Maria created me for. Being an empath was more than helpful in the throes of battle. My rank of Major was well deserved. Killing my own kind was easy to begin with; we were all here for the same purpose and goal. We knew that at any given moment we could be destroyed. Occasionally, the vampires I had to destroy would welcome death having grown weary of the constant battle.

It wasn't until Peter escaped with Charlotte that I started to think that maybe there was something more to this life. Then, there was the guilt. Over my many years I had successfully suppressed the fears of my prey as I took their life to sustain my own. Maria used to say that thinking was a dangerous thing and she was right. The more I thought about my victims, both vampire and human alike, the more I felt their fear and pain. I had always thought I would be destroyed in battle and not by my own thoughts.

There was only one thing I could do; I had to leave Maria. No longer was I fit to be her second in command. Peter returned for me and tried to show me the better life he and Charlotte had created for themselves. I tried so hard to fit in with this new world, but the guilt and pain and fear were eating away at me.

Unable to reconcile this new life against my old one, I left Peter too. I wandered for a time only feeding when I needed to. For years I thought hard about who and what I was, no longer 'The Major', but still a vampire. A predator by nature, I needed blood to survive but was unable to sustain myself on my natural prey.

The day I walked into the building facing me, I was desolate almost prepared to make my way back to Maria and beg her to destroy me.

But then she was there, my angel in disguise, my Alice.

_She took the pains of boyhood_

_And turned them into feel good_

_Oh how I wish I were lying in the_

_Arms of Mary_

She wasn't scared of me. She said she had been waiting, that she knew where we needed to go.

We spent a while travelling, just getting to know each other. She really didn't know much about herself at all. Most of what she did know was what she had gained by visions of her future. Our future.

The concept of a future for myself was strange. I had spent so long living in the now, knowing that each day could be my last. The idea that I now had a future that didn't have to include daily battles and bloodshed was a novel, but welcome, concept.

She was adamant that our future lay together, that I no longer had to be _that _man. For the first time since I had been born into this life, I was starting to feel free. Just talking to her, telling her everything I could remember of my life before I was turned, and the horror that was me since I woke to the bloodthirsty violent existence that was life in the army, it lifted the weight that had been crushing me for decades.

The more I told her, the more shame I felt. The more shame I felt, the tighter she held me. Slowly, over our time together before we reached our destination, she was piecing me back together piece by tiny piece. For every bad thing I told her about myself, she told me something good. How she found so many good things in me after only a few months, I will never know.

Slowly, she was helping me find the man I could be, the man she said she knew I would be. I learned pretty early on never to bet against her, she was hardly ever wrong. I can't recall the exact day it happened, but eventually I started looking forward to each new day. With every new sunrise came another day I didn't have to fight, another day I wasn't alone to dwell on my past.

The guilt never truly stopped, but I found that with her guidance and support, each new day became easier to deal with.

_Mary was the girl who taught me all I had_

_To know-she put me right on my first mistake_

_Summer wasn't gone when I'd learned all she had_

_To show-she really gave all a boy could take_

We eventually reached our destination, the family that she said would be ours. They took to her in an instant, who wouldn't? She just had that affect on people. With me, they were weary and with good reason. Here they were, a peaceful, animal feeding coven confronted with 'The Major' of the Southern Wars, battle-scarred and red eyed being presented to them as their new son and brother.

Eventually, I settled in. Family life was much the same as being in the army, without the bloodshed and death of course, but still fundamentally the same. Carlisle, the father, was much like the commander, the one who set the rules, the one they all went to for guidance. Esme, his wife, was the second in command, filtering down information when he was unable. Emmett and Rosalie, were the guards, hell bent on protecting their family. Then there was Edward, the returning hero. We didn't meet him when we first arrived. I wish I could say that when he finally rejoined the family we bonded, but I don't think we ever did. He had time away from his sire and fed from humans for a time. Being the only one of their original coven that had fed on human blood, it was assumed we would have a common ground. That assumption couldn't be farther from the truth, I had nothing in common with Edward. He was nothing more than a spoilt child, the favorite son of a man so blind he saw no fault in anyone.

Life with the Cullen's was easy. The only thing expected of me was to not feed on humans. Since meeting Alice, I had no desire for that way of life again. Of course, it wasn't that easy though. Although I no longer desired that life, the monster within me wasn't so easily subdued. Over the years, there were times I slipped up and, to my own mind, it was to be expected. I was bred to be a warrior, to kill all in sight.

After every slip, every mistake, she was always there with a tight embrace and comforting words. I wanted to be the man she said I could be, I needed my new family to trust and respect me. With each year that passed, each day with her words of support and the strength I felt from her, I grew stronger. The family helped to integrate me with the humans, whether it was at high school or college. Their blood still called to me, it always will, but with her faith and guidance I no longer gave into the darkness.

_So now when I feel lonely_

_Still looking for the one and only_

_That's when I wish I were lying in the_

_Arms of Mary_

The Cullen's were our salvation and our downfall. Through our time with them, she learned more about her past. The resources they had available to them opened many closed doors. All was well until Edward bought home the human he made his mate. Within weeks of her being around, she almost brought the family to its knees. Edward was in over his head bringing a human into our world but, as Carlisle's pride and joy, he could do no wrong. We were all expected to play nice, to support and nurture Edward's relationship with Bella.

Peter, my brother in arms, had kept in regular contact with me. He always said Bella would be my downfall. So when, on the night of her birthday, her blood flowed red onto the carpet that lay before her and I felt the blood lust surrounding me, I knew he was right. I made my move but was shut down by my fostered siblings. We left our home that very same night, Edward refusing to accompany us. Once again, the guilt about the man I was surrounded me but, once again, she was there pulling me from my pit of despair.

_Mary was the girl who taught me all I had_

_To know-she put me right on my first mistake_

_Summer wasn't gone when I'd learned all she had to show_

_She really gave all a boy could take.._.

Edward found his way back to Bella.

Alice once again showed me the light at the end of the very dark tunnel I retreated to.

Without her support, I know I would have reverted back to the lonely, empty existence I had before she found me.

The years that followed were the best I experienced since waking to this life. The family was once again whole. By some chance of fate, Bella conceived Edward's child and with her birth the family had a new purpose. Nessie was a joy to us all. She was the child none of us ever dreamed of having. With the gifts Bella and Nessie bought to our family, we thought we were invincible, even the Volturi ran from us.

That's where the problem lay. Our family, our coven, was more powerful than any other, not that we ever desired using the power at our disposal. That didn't stop rival covens wanting to take us down, though. Every battle that we fought, I made sure Alice was protected first, Nessie second.

After the first decade, the word got out that we were more protected than any other coven out there and the threat to us diminished. Nessie flourished and became a beautiful young woman with dreams of her own. Her bond with the Alpha of a wolf pack kept her safer than any of us could, but in my eyes she was still a child.

The day she tried to warn me about a dark cloud descending on us, I brushed her aside. It was foolish of me, she tried to tell me that she had caught one of Alice's visions by accident, but I was so lulled by the peaceful life we now had that I refused to listen. Alice never came to me with this vision so it held no weight for me.

How wrong I would turn out to be.

Not one month later, the army descended. It had been over fifty years since I had seen true battle, my instincts dulled by my animal diet and keeping my inner demon at bay.

In that one short fight we lost Edward, trying to protect both Bella and Nessie, and I lost Alice, my Alice, the tie that bound me to this world, the one who showed me the man I could be.

_The lights shine down the valley_

_The wind blows up the alley_

_Oh how I wish I were lying in the_

_Arms of Mary_

It didn't take long for me to formulate a plan, my instinct for battle kicking in with the loss of Alice.

With one last look at the diner where we first met, I step out of my hiding place in the alley and head south. It's time to go to war, head back to Maria.

Do you feel that Maria? I'm coming for you.

I hope my battle cry carries to you in the breeze. Count your sunrises, for they are numbered. In just a few days, as the sun rises, you will see me come over the rise and you will fear me. I will take your life just like you took mine the day you set your soldiers on my family. So long I as destroy you, I will be happy to die at the hands of your army. Then, once again, I can lie in the arms of Mary, my Mary Alice.


End file.
